my mother is one of those funny new england types who places "the" in front of nouns at odd times:

jacob will soon be able to communicate with you over the e-mail.

hysterical.

she's in her mid-50s and is recapturing the foreign-girl beauty of her teenage years; it shows in her eyes.

way back when, she ironed her hair, rocked an alluring space between her front teeth, and put herself through college. she left town on the back of my father's motorcycle, yet knew she was going to raise two sons on her own.

weird-ass gypsy lady that she is.