when bill and i were in high school, bored of pot and incompatible for sex, we'd make prank calls. our best trick was we'd each get on a different phone in his house, then call a random number. as soon as the person picked up, the two of us would begin a very personal, private discussion. like about corruption in our school (there was plenty) or plotting un petit larceny. the best was pretending we'd had sex with one another for the first time and were both really emotionally caught up in what it all meant. mainly what made this great was having straight bill pretend that i had just been inside him.

the people would never, ever hang up. it was more like they felt they were blessed to be secretly in on the conversation. wives would get their husbands on the line, siblings would put down their weapons and call timeout.

though lisa carver lived new hampshire life better than any of us, i felt that we were really on to something. i mean, we thought that eavesdropping could have been more influential than television.

*****

later my prank calling would become a problem, as it became a secret way of communicating my desire for my french teacher, mr. ross. he was fey beyond compare and drove a motorcycle to school in the spring. so hot. i won't mention that one time he and i.

i would call his house and play my mother's french-language records into the phone. since i was a first-year student, i really had no idea what was being said aside from basic vocabulary words. but i thought it was a romantic gesture.